nosleepandcrazy

This shit is real and really crazy

Slutty Barbie ruins the music section at Walmart!

Ok… So a few years ago, well quite a few… Barbie had a baby.  Wait, weren’t all those skipper and stacey and kelly dolls, Barbie’s spawn?  Oh yeah… They were her sisters.  And Sheerah and Heman were brother and sister… cept when every horny kid made them a couple.  But anyways, back to topic.  So Barbi got pregnant.  She was sold all over the country with a belly and a baby for when you took off the magnetic belly.  If only that was how it worked in real life… no need for a vagina… Ken sure didn’t have a dick, and when you miraculously get pregnant, you simply pop the belly off and have a baby in your arms.  So all over the world, Barbie is all preggars… and everyone is fine with this.  But then some lovely random person goes to Walmart to buy one for thier kid and notices that Barbie has NO wedding ring.  Oh my God… I do declare… What has the world come to when a grown woman rubs her plastic parts on some other plastic parts and gets a magnetic belly baby.  But this shopper makes a huge fuss saying that Walmart is a “family” store.  So Walmart rips them off the shelves never to be seen again til Barbie makes an honest woman out of herself.  I imagine the ones without a wedding band that are still in a box are worth a pretty penny.  My sister did have that doll, too bad she didn’t leave it in a box.  Well this is what I like to call the beginning of the end of me ever buying a CD from Walmart.  A Barbie cancels out a CD shopping spree?  How can that be?  Well these same “family” oriented people do not like the fuck word in the music sold at Walmart.  Every store you go to, has this little dandy parental warning on it.  We all know what it looks like.

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Does that look familiar to you?  It should because every damn store has them on CD’s with the fuck work, the pussy word, and a few other choice words…. all of which I happen to like.  Now I am not saying that everyone should listen to these words.  Kids should follow the rules of their parents.  But, why censor every CD?  Can’t Walmart just put that little black and white sticker on there?  And have it alert the Walmart register worker to ask for an ID?  Cause here is where it gets confusing… Barbie is a slut for getting knocked up, and the fuck word in the music probably inspired her to get knocked up… But the movies Barbie watched from Walmart on her little pink TV are perfectly NOT censored.  So knocked up Barbie is bad.  Fuck words to sing along to is bad.  But knocked up teens, fuck word music in the background with people in masks ripping in to people… these… rate R movies I speak of… are they not sold at Walmart too?  The same, “family” oriented Walmart?  So it is ok to see and hear the fuck word, watch skanky people getting preggars, but it is not ok to play with skanky pregnant woman while singing along to music about the skanky pregnant person.  So these movies I speak of… how do they keep the young children away from them?  I mean we have protected them from slutty Barbie, and vulgar Ying Yang Twins, but how do we keep them away from Saw 3??  Oh, what’s that?  It has an alert so that the register person ask for an ID?  Let us not forget the area of the store that sells condoms,lube and the urban legend personal massager…  Barbie killed the music for Walmart for all eternity.  I have not bought a CD from Walmart in like 15 years for this reason.  I no longer need a pregnant doll, married or otherwise… but where am I going when “Ted” comes out?  You better believe it.  That “family” store we all know and love, Walmart.  Well almost all of us love it.  I do have that one aunt that had to pee so bad, she pee’d in Walmart’s parking lot because she hates Walmart so bad she would not enter to use the facilities.  I just want to piss on their pg version of Korn

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