nosleepandcrazy

This shit is real and really crazy

When blowjobs go bad

Ok so I think I have mentioned before I am a late bloomer, as in I never dated til I was 22.  This of course meant I had never given a man a blowjob til I was 22.  I started watching porn when I was 7.  I was at my Dad’s house and had my best friend at the time over, and we were looking for the tape that my mom had recorded the brave little toaster on.  Not an official movie, just recorded off tv.  Anyhoo, we go the the tv area upstairs and there are about 5 blank tapes on the floor.  Pop it in, hit play.

Me : Is that a woman licking a man’s arm pit?

Friend : Uh, no that is a woman kissing a woman’s down there area.

Me: Uh…

Friend : This is porn, my parents have some.  Let’s watch.

So we watched and I just never stopped after that day.  But I am a full figured girl, and yes that is the nice way of saying I need to lose some damn weight.  But alas I am who I am and at that moment I am a big girl.  Because of being plus size, I said from the time I was a teen til 22 that I would date “when I lost weight” and since I never lost the weight but instead did the opposite, I was a 22 year old virgin… unless you count that friend and that other friend.  But no penis entered this body til I was 22.  And to be honest, had it not been for J man, I might be a virgin now because I was perfectly happy and content being on my own.  But then he came in to my life, a friend I had known off and on since I was in 1st grade.  I had not seen him for years.  His friend had the hots for my friend who worked at a bookstore and when he drug J man to the bookstore to show him how hot she was, it turned out that he knew her.  So apparently he has been amused by me years ago so he asked my friend to give me his number.  I waited about 6 months to call him.  I was in a bad place in my life, and I thought only two things could come of calling him, I would either find him to be just some dumb boy that I no longer enjoyed his existence or I would want to talk all the time and it took 6 months to take the chance that I might want to spend time with him because I was so depressed and lost.  But then I finally called and we ended up talking more than 6 hours.  This was insane to me, I hate talking on the phone.  But he made it fun.  This continued for a long time, we hung out a few times too and a crush developed.  What made things impossibly hard was he smelled so fucking good.  So without my consent, my hormones finally took over and ran the show.  I went from never having an adult kiss to a whole lot in a matter of months.  But the point of this story, the blowjob of doom.  I had seen it done in porn millions of times.  But I had never done it.  But he asked.  So I nervously agreed and got down on my knees.  This is the part where I usually point out I have….


And that is what you saw when I smiled.  If you have had braces, you already know the next part.  That is what you see when I smiled, but…  what you can not see and probably don’t know is, when you have braces, you also have these metal things on the inside of your mouth equally as sharp as the ones on the outside of the teeth.  So… are you getting where this is going?  Yep, first time I put a penis in my mouth and instead of hearing a good oooh or a good moan or sigh, I hear, “What the fuck was that?” as I nicked J man’s dick with the inside bracket on my left jaw tooth.  After that while we dated, we messed around, we kissed, he went down on me, we did it all including having sex a few times… but he never let me give him a blowjob ever again.  Sorry J man, if you are reading this, I am sorry I scarred your dick and my psyche.  All I can say is, practice makes perfect and I in time learned how to avoid touching flesh with my braces.  Well, most of the time.  But the next guy had a higher tolerance to pain so all was well.  But you did still do everything else with me and you kept seeing me… so thanks for not dumping my ass over scraping your pee pee.

2 comments on “When blowjobs go bad

  1. Nosebleedsandcandy
    October 2, 2012

    I’m sure this J man wasn’t really worried about getting no oral while dating you cause u probable got him off other ways. I would be nervouse also if something could happen bad to my penis if I put it in something. The people who invented condoms also probably felt this way also. I for one do like oral a lot but I can’t live on it alone. Oral just makes me want to fuck even more. I get to that point where I have to stop her so I can put it in (sorry, I couldn’t think of a better way of saying I stick my penis her vagina). Anyways I’m more of a giver then a taker, I love giving oral, it turns me on so much with the right person. The girl I’m with now is not really into me going down so we do other things, just like u and this J Man probable did. You just have to work around things and this J man probably understood. I bet when J Man thinks about you it’s never of this. Hell, I bet everything I own J Man probably forgot all about this untill he reads or hears about this blog.

    Nosebleedsandcandy

    • nosleepandcrazy
      October 6, 2012

      Well, if J man were to read this, I would still want him to know it was terrifying for me, lol. I mean I had never had anyone’s flesh in my mouth. The smell, the taste, the feel was so scary that in truth I welcomed it to be over, though I did not want to never do it again, I just wanted my first time to over and done with. My second time and there after went just fine… well I had my braces for quite some time with the next guy, and I know I nicked him once in a while, but he just said keep going. But yeah, that was for sure my most embarrassing sexual experience ever, but I do not look back on it sadly or anything, I simply can not think of anything that went that wrong, lol. I happen to be a natural at these things, though I did not know it then. But it is not like J man yelled at me or made fun of me… it just was not requested again. I can only hope that every time I tell this story at parties is that people can laugh and have fun. It may have been embarrassing, but it was not something I consider a bad experience. I just laugh a lot. Besides, the whole thing was worth having it happen just so I can make boys make that face when they hear the story.

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This entry was posted on September 29, 2012 by in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , .
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