This shit is real and really crazy
Well I should know better by now than to assume a few dropped pounds is a sign of the way my day will go… Cause it just isn’t. I was high on life, lost a few pounds, so why not go from there. I had been meaning to try waxing my eye brows and a few other sketchy areas of my face. My sister has done this in the past. I love how fast it is as apposed to plucking one at a time. The directions say, heat it for 90 seconds. But never heat it more than 2 minutes. So, I heated it for 90 seconds. Then 30 more seconds and the top layer was still solid so I heated up more… surpassing the 2 minute limit. Another minute later and it was liquid finally. (There was a tiny thought before I ever stuck it in the microwave to put it on a paper plate, but I ignored such a thought) So anyways, I reached in, picked it up and within less than one second, it was all over 2 fingers and a thumb… the stove, the handle to the stove… the floor. I was about to say fuck it and throw the whole lot away but then I thought, if I throw it away (it will most likely melt through the garbage bag and get inside the actual can) I will have made such a mess and burned myself all for nothing. So off to the bathroom I went… First I did the eye brows, The space between them was covered in a nice solid mass of wax. I felt like what I would imagine someone just getting botox would feel. Well it was cool enough to have not singed my eye brow area. So, I went for the upper lip. I bet you are expecting some delightful tale of the removal of my very lip which has led to me having to type about this because I can no longer speak properly… But nope. My eye brows are perfect, my lips are the lips of a woman with perfectly working ovaries and hormones and tah dah, it was totally worth it. Not worth the burnt finger tips, or the mess in the kitchen that I have yet to figure out how to get off of my stove (I got it off the floor thanks to a facebook post from my neighbor) without scraping the paint off of it. But at least my skin is smooth as a baby’s ass.