This shit is real and really crazy
The end. I mean if that was all I said, could anyone really reply and say, no everyone is smart… even a friend of mine who is trying to make some big thing over a post I put on fb about how no means no even if …. one says no means no if a girl is drunk. so he is trying to flip it and say it is not like that if the role is reversed which is fucking retarded to me. no means NO. end of story. And there is a huge difference between drunk sex and a girl, or man being so drunk he or she can not say anything, not even no. I have a kind heart so I will try not to tell him that I hope he ends up in a situation where he learns the difference but that is sure as hell what I am thinking. I have been in that situation. Being bipolar I have put myself in some stupid situations and one almost got my ass raped. No matter how many times I said no, he said yes and no matter how many times I zipped my pants back up or pulled my shirt down or pulled my bra over my nipples, he undid everything I did over and over. Held my hands down a few times. I am not some weak little girl, I am big and stout as my papaw used to say, but the only reason I did not get raped was cause I lived with my mom and when I started getting vocal he knew she could call the police. so I was ok in the end. But I feel dirty just thinking about it right now. The next day he would not respond to my texts. I had this overwhelming feeling that if we kept dating that it was not wrong, that it was just a date that got carried away. But he stopped responding and then stalked me on a few dating sites I was on and fb. I had to block him. Once he opened a new account and found me again and was vulgar every time. I was scared to death, I assumed he did not remember my address, but I was not sure of that. I was fucking sober and I could not get no to mean anything in his mind. Now I fucking love getting drunk and having sex, it makes it feel so good. But I also have a boyfriend who is allowed to have sex with me. And we have already had sex, so it is not like he would just enforce it at some party. I trust him so it is ok. And usually I want to, so that is the main point. But I have a sister who was dating a guy who she had not slept with and before one of their parties started, she told him she was not ready. After she got drunk, he stepped out and went to a store and bought condoms. He thought if she was drunk he could get her to do it. But luckily her friend told her about it and she was able to stay safe. Although he would not leave her alone and eventually she had to go sleep in her car with the doors locked. He was drunk too so maybe I am supposed to let it slide. And nothing happened. But he went and bought condoms when she told him she was not ready. It was dirty. Do I think the roles can not be reversed? Fuck no. A woman can rape a man, a woman can rape a woman, a man can rape a woman, and a man can rape a man. No means no you fucking morons.
That is my post. I told him to shut up. he defended himself over and over so I started deleting his comments to which he kept saying I was burying the questions. But I deleted that too. So he shared it on his wall and is now running with it. But I say it is just one of those things that should be taken very seriously. There are some things that have happened in the past with almost every guy I slept with that have made me feel dirty and ashamed. I wish I could erase it from my memory. But I can deal and I can function, or my version of functioning, without obsessing over it all damn day. But any time Micheal pops in my head, that was his name. His real and honest to God name. Why should I give him the right to privacy? Nope, not gonna. I doubt he will find me on here, reading was not his goal in life. If I had never heard from him ever again it would have made me feel disgusting enough, but because he would keep finding me ever so often it just kept bringing it up over and over and over. Now it is a very significant scar on my soul.