This shit is real and really crazy

Stop touching your no-no spot…… Your pants are unzipped

Ok, so I am with an amazing man, Jason.  He is so good to me.  But he is a little more … touchy than the previous men in my life, be it friends, dates, family…. strangers… It does not matter if he is awake or asleep.  He can be fully unconscious and still be scratching and adjusting.  

I do not think I am just oblivious to other men doing this.  I really think he is like … doing this waaaaaaay more than other guys.  If he is not scratching, he is adjusting. 

I just want to point out that if a woman stuck her hands in her pants, there would be 1-2 thoughts in peoples heads, which would probably be verbalized.  If I had my hands in my pants adjusting my hoo-ha every woman would think I was gross and vulgar and all the guys would hope I was gross and vulgar and they would gock at me. 

Women wear cheeky peaks and thongs and boy shorts and whatever we wear, there is a 98% chance that they are up our asses and not exactly in the right spot causing some discomfort.  Do we have wondering hands?  No.  Why?  Because we are ladies, be it slutty ladies or conservative ladies, we still avoid digging around our no-no spots in public. So I guess we can just chock it up to a good old fashion double standards. 

And then I have to mention the whole zipper thing.  There are so many things that I do day to day and they are just programmed in there.  I wake up, use the bathroom, and then weigh myself.  Then I brush my teeth because I swallow water (swallowing water can add weight so that is why I do that after weighing in).  This is just the steps I take to wake up.

At night when I lay down, I plug my phone up, Then I put chapstick on, turn the lamp off and roll on to my left side.  This is just my routine. 

When I go to the bathroom, I do my business, wipe and then stand up and of course, I zip my pants…. wait.. what did I say?… I said I ZIP MY PANTS….  but hey I guess I am just weird like that.  I just do not get why men do this.  So strange. 

Now I will admit that you will see a woman with unzipped pants here and there.  But we have a reason.  Now 99% of the time, this is not the reason for men, for men they just forget.  But for women and that 1% of men, the reason is that our zippers wont stay up no matter how many times we pull them up.

I do not know why they give guys all the good zippers, but they do.  It also does not help that we usually have on tight pants.  Girls wear fitted and skin tight jeans sometimes and the pressure does send the faulty zippers down, down, and down.  We, women donate a lot of pants due to this problem.  (another reason is that we do not always notice the fact that some pants do not have a single pocket on them, lol)

Now my guess is that if a few men read this, they may say that I am too uptight, or anal about doing this and that at the certain right moment.  I get that.  To be honest I know I am uptight and anal, but I also I know when I leave the house, my pants are zipped, lol.

I just think it’s all so funny.  I hope you have read this and and get the humorous side to it all.   Besides, who knows… maybe men leave there zippers down so they can “air out”


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This entry was posted on May 17, 2013 by in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , .
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