This shit is real and really crazy
Ok, so most of the people I know have much smaller boobs than mine. I had nothing there at one point in my life. A couple of my friends had some though… by some I meant they looked like a few mosquito’s bit them and not just one like me. I wore a training bra every day and night even though I did not need them. I had it in my head that if I could “train” them that they would come, heal and stay with me. But I prayed every night that I would get big boobs some day. Well here we are years later and I am thinking I just prayed a little bit too hard. My sister says the booby fairy visited me and left none for anyone else. Right about 5th grade, my body got rounder and that included breasts.
I did not even really notice. I mean I knew I had to wear a little girl bra, but it was no big deal. But then this one Sunday morning, I woke up and it was quite chilly outside so I put on my skirt and a white turtle neck and a wool sweater on. Now, I can not say this is the truth for everyone in the world, but for the most part, people wear something under the wool sweaters cause they itch. I did not wear a bra that day. I just did not think about it, really.
Well, what started out as a chilly morning, turned in to a very warm afternoon and on this day, we were going down to the basement of the church so have a lunch in. Well between all the people being crammed in there and all the cooking, I got really hot. So, I went to the bathroom to take off the sweater. But when I did, I looked in the mirror and I could not stay like that, especially not in a church. That white turtle neck that once would have been more than enough was now almost vulgar. It felt so much better temp wise to have it off, but it was not gonna work. So I thought, ok, how about just the sweater and no turtle neck. NOPE. That was painfully itchy. So I had to tough it out and sweat for almost 1 1/2 hours in my double layers that would have kept an Eskimo warm. That was the last day I went anywhere without a bra.
Now, here is something you probably do not know, unless you are a woman with big boobs, or if you have dated someone with bib boobs. They may look great to the people on the outside but there comes a time for all of us with boobs when we have to go to sleep. If you sleep on your back, then hip hip hurray for you. But me, I can not sleep on my back. I have to sleep on my stomach. It’s just the only way I can sleep.
There are two people who have slept next to me since I got boobs. Chris, and now Jason. Both of them learned the annoying routine I go through every night. Both of them were not used to anyone sleeping next to them, so until their sleeping abilities got strong and they could sleep through it, I would adjust myself over and over and they would wake up over and over due to shaking the bed. My boobs have to be adjusted over and over every other minute til I am asleep. See, people do not realize, but it hurts to just lay on my stomach and smash my boobs.
I have to get them in the perfect position where my boobs are just so, and then I start to fall asleep, but very quickly I have to roll over to face the right and then it starts all over. Oh and lets not forget that I sleep in a sports bra 99.5% of the time. ( I have a fear there will be someone breaking in, or a house fire and I will have to run out of the house in nothing under my tank top or t-shirt and then I will end up on the news looking like those crazy people you see on the news wearing not much of anything)
So I not only have to get my boobs comfy in the sports bra while laying on them, but I also have to make the tank top or t-shirt not too tight on my boobs. I always get in the bed and then scoot up to get comfy and that scooting up leads to my shirt being too tight and so I have to lift myself up and pull up the shirt and all that boob-idge.
Now all this info may make you think that I hate my boobs, or I think boob jobs are stupid, etc. etc. etc. But you would be wrong. To me, a boob job is no different than a tattoo or a piercing or a haircut. It is all about how you view yourself and life and then you express it to tell the world who you are.
Me, who am I? I am a girl who has had boobs since 5th grade. Who else am I? I am a girl who was very very unpopular and there was 0 boys trying to be my boyfriend. I dressed weird and I was very shy and awkward. I had a total of 1 friend, and that is it. However, I was the only girl in 5th grade with boobs. Now I have to admit, for a while there I did not dress them up to their full potential. But, by high school, I was still very unpopular, with all sexes, be it friends or boy friends, they were scarce…. But by then, I had learned that advantage of a V-neck clothes.
I had this delicate pink dress that buttoned up from the bottom to the top. In 8th grade, it fit 100% perfectly. In 9th grade, it only fit if I unbuttoned the top few buttons. At my school, (Christian school, M.I.C.A.H.from hell) I had realized that even though I was still really really really unpopular, my cleavage was not so unpopular. And that pink dress was the a surprising first step in to getting attention from the opposite sex.
We had this tiny room at the school that we called the dungeon. It was solid concrete and it was really tiny. It was are not so glorified computer room. In that room, we did not get to pick our seats. God forbid we sit by someone we actually liked. My teacher, or so I guess, had the idea that if she put us all next to people that would rather spit on, than help out with the touch questions. I can not for the life of me remember who sat on the left side of me, but I know exactly who sat on the right side. Dustin Dickerson. He would have had 0 kind words for me, but I imagine had what inspired him once or twice when he woke up popping a tent.
He spent more time staring down my dress than he did typing. The class was so damn easy. The teacher was not really a teacher, she was an office assistant that seemed to have forgotten what a bar of soap was. She was a very very large woman. No not that kind of big, THAT kind of big. She had to suck it in to get in this tiny room and then whoever poor sad soul got forced to sit right behind her. She smelled so bad. I mean, not like a little smell that could be fixed with a squirt of perfume or a scented candle. No, she was really smelly. It actually hurt to be close to her. And she was a hugger, well not for most, but for me and my best friends, Tara and Davida. (that was the old Tara, not the one that lives with me) We were the “good” girls and so she felt the need to hug us somewhat often. Her smell actually burned in my nose. She was very large and sometimes large people smell, mostly because they do not lift the fat rolls to wash the dirty sweat off of them. (No judgement from you people, I am fat. I just know how to lift those rolls)
But anyways, back to the point, that class was the first booby attention I received. Until that class, I had not really gotten any attention aside from my 7th grade prim (It was called a prim because a prim is a prom without dancing… or that was what they said) that I went to. It was a very very tiny So everyone from 6th grade to 12th got to participate. I wore a slinky black dress and my boobs looked amazing. I wish I had a pic on this computer to show you, but lets just say I had to wear a jacket in order to be allowed to go.
But beyond that prim, I rarely dressed all sexy like. I had such a strict dress code that there was no cleavage big or small that could be seen. The school I went to in the high school years, M.I.C.A.H. did not exactly allow cleavage, but I managed to get away with it. I think it was just because I never talked to many boys, aside from Justin and J-boy. That is the reason I have for getting out of class and bending the rules of the dress code just a tad sometimes.
Now I know a lot of women have the whole, “My eyes are up here” mode going. But not me. I was too terrified to go out with a boy, kiss a boy or of course, let them touch me. If I was not going to let them touch me, you can imagine how the idea of getting naked in front of them was never ever going to be even the slightest possibility.
At that time, and all the time til I was almost 23, I was never never never going to let any boy or man or anyone else see me naked. My entire life revolved around the idea of, “When I get skinny”, I would finally get a boyfriend. But I am now 31 and I am still fat and like I said, age 22 was the year I got back in touch with J-boy and he just smelled so fucking good, my hormones finally woke up (better late than never) and then went in to over drive. I went from virgin to not-so-virgin in a matter of weeks… well that is once he finally fucking touched me. He sure did make me wait, lol. To this day, I am not in to waiting. I move a bit fast for a woman. You never can tell about those “good” girls. .
So, once my hormones kicked it, I started buying less and less of high neck tops. I started buying bras that cost less than a bag of chips. Aside from funeral clothes and sweat shirts I have low cut and v-neck tops.
In truth, if I don’t strap them down with duc-tape, they are going to be there. They are big enough now that there is no hiding them. Also, if I did not have them, I do not know who I would be. My boobs have been getting all my attention for so many years, if I had to lose them, I would not be me. I have big tits and I talk about sex all the damn time.
So, what do I think about boob jobs? I have known people who think only whores get them, or it is just stupid because God made you this way blah blah blah. I say, it is my body and I should be able to do absolutely anything I want to with it. My boobs are so big that the weight pulls heavy and hard on my shoulders (due to bra straps) that it cuts in to my body. It is the weight of them that does it.
I have thought about getting a reduction and a lift many many times. But I did some research and the scars from a redution are pretty bad. So I do not think about it anymore. I guess it’s fine. I mean, who would I be without my double D’s?
Breast implants are a lot easier and quicker to remove than a tattoo and I have 3 1/2 tattoo’s. I can also say that if I had never gotten big boobs, I would for sure have gotten implants because of how bad I wanted them. My ears are pierced twice and I am going to get my nose pierced soon. I also have thought about getting … is it an implant when they put the jewels on your skin where it looks like the diamond is grown there? What ever that is, I want that too.
I also would just like to point out how breasts go from one size to another, and if they go bigger, they look amazing, perfect and round… but when they go down a few sizes, the scars are horrible. And from what I can tell when I have researched it, the scars are never going to go away all the way. That is really not fair.
Love peace and chicken grease (10 points if you know where that line came from)