This shit is real and really crazy
Ok… so anyone that reads my blog knows that video games are not a regular topic… this being due to the fact that I get motion sickness. Me and my sister grew up playing video games… We were all but consumed by certain games…. Smash Brothers on game cube and Grand Theft Auto … Yeah you want to know how to beat the hard missions on the first few Grand Theft Auto games? Just spawn tanks… or they call them rhinos… Just drive one… or if that is too bulky, spawn one tank after another until you have built a fortress so who ever you are to go after like that damn pizza delivery boy has no where to go. Then shank a bitch.
So… anywho… Back to… well I guess not back to but, let us begin on the point here… For many years I have been out of the video game commission. But I finally got on Adderall… And it would seem a side affect for A.D.D. meds would be … well most the time now I can watch my roommate, Chris play video games. Tonight I woke up just in time for his game, Far Cry 4 to finished downloading to his XBOXone.
Here is what you need to be deep down inside your soul in order to enjoy this game… You need to be able to laugh at the dark stuff. This game is violent and dark with a lot of wit and humor. It is so hilarious. But not everyone can find humor in a man saying he will kill a man for making bad crab rangoon.
BTW… anyone playing this game, once you get to the scene where you are sitting down at dinner with Mr.Fabulous himself, he will at one point get up and leave. You have the option of staying or escaping. Stay. If you sit around and wait for about 15 minutes you will get to play a quick alternate version of the game. Then very soon after you can start it over. But there is a whole lot of funny if you stay and put up with all the screams of the man getting tortured. I mean hell… if you do not like hearing people screaming… this may not be the game for you to begin with.
First of all, this game is incredibly beautiful. The scenery is just immaculate. But once you escape you will very quickly learn that if you stumble upon a dead animal, or kill an animal you can take your knife and carve out the animals heart and put it in a bag. This is so later you can throw the heart at a bad guy and wild animals will attack and kill the bad guy… The fact that the wild animals are not attacking you for having all these hearts in a bag you are carrying, has not missed my attention. Yeah… I am as cynical of a video gamer as I am as a movie watcher.
Aside from carving out the hearts, you can also skin the animals. In fact in the beginning of the game, you are told to do so… to skin the wolves for their pelts. Chris is playing and I was like…” wait, aren’t you going to skin them?” And he goes, “I did, didn’t you see it say that?” I was like, “But they still have their fur, see?” Then he proceeded to tell me that P.E.T.A. had all kinds of fits over this game because you kill all these exotic animals…. Dude… really?
So let me get this straight… If I played this game and skinned a white tiger and it actually laid there without its skin, I would what? Go out and skin a white tiger? Really?
I will never understand that. First off, if entertainment makes you kill and torture animals, or run over hookers with your tank so you can collect money… well all I have to say is, where in the hell did you get the tank?? I am all kinds of fucked up and crazy. So is my sister. We both LOVE our violent video games. Yet some how the only thing we have killed are like… spiders. But you all know the spiders totally deserved it… they like… existed within my space. So.. yeah… totally deserved it.
If I could send a message to P.E.T.A. I would have to say this, calm your tits. It is not real. It is just a game. It is just pretend. And for those of you who do run over hookers and old ladies with your tank…. or skin animals and throw their hearts at bad guys… well something is already broken inside you because as fucked in the head as me and my sister are, we have never killed people or animals.
My mamaw got soooo upset watching Shrek with me and my sister cause there is that scene where she is singing with a blue bird and they both get higher and higher and then suddenly the blue bird explodes…. There was nothing me and my sister could say to get her to watch the rest of the movie. That was just the worst thing she had ever seen.
So… Mamaw & P.E.T.A….. here is what I have to say…. calm your tits. It is just make believe. Pixel animals do not need protection.
Hugs and kisses bitches