This shit is real and really crazy
From a top/bottom relationship to a dom/sub relationship over night. How did that happen? Why do I feel so much better, and utterly joyfully happier? It all started it a major fuck up on my part.
So I have quite a few Dom friends. Some I know in person, some are just pen pals. Well one of the pen pals was talking to a girl with a similar name as me. And he meant to send a pic of his dick to her, but instead sent it to me. He apologized to me immediately. At first I did not take it too seriously. But then I made it clear he could not do that again. Not even accidentally and to be more careful. But I was stupid. I did not tell my boyfriend, my top about it for two days.
For two days we spent together, I thought about it constantly. I knew I should tell him. But I chickened out with every nagging thought. Instead I hid it for two days, then waited for him to go home which is an hour away and I knew he would not come back to deal with me…..Oh but it gets ever better. I decided to be a fucking coward and told him about it in a text. He was livid and he was hurt.
His anger and pain broke me inside. I can not explain where it came from, but I begged him to punish me. I had never been punished by a man in my life. I do not know where that came from. But I pleaded and told him over and over I deserved it. He soon agreed.
He made me wait two days for my punishment since I hid this from him for two days. So for two days I anguished over it. Not knowing what to expect. Not knowing how bad it would hurt, or how he would punish me. He eventually told me it would be bare handed spanking. But he had to think about how many strikes.
He came up with six. Finally two days had passed. He arrived at 9:30pm. He shut the door immediately as he walked in. His face with an expression I had never seen. He had never looked at me like that. It devastated me. So I kissed him. He jerked me around, bent me over my bed, positioned my hands where he wanted them and jerked my pants and panties down. He made it very clear I was to count to six with each hit. The way he said it was intimidating so I did not argue, nor did I forget to count a single time.
Unlike playful spankings, this did not offer any pleasure. I was not turned on. It hurt. It was a real punishment. A punishment that I truly deserved.
After it was over, he immediately asked if I was ok. I reassured him I was fine. I threw my arms around him and kissed him. He pushed me back and grabbed my face hard and told me this will never happen again or next time it will be the belt. I promised it never would.
Then he undressed me, told me to undress him and I did. Then he made love to me. Roughly, many bite marks, and scratches. Harder than ever before. I still have teeth marks all over me. They could pass as dental records. And I loved every minute of it.
I have all these feelings I can not explain. I was raised that if a man raised a hand to me to kill him. So why then did this make me feel safer with him, closer to him. Why did it make me fall more in love with him than ever. How does that make sense? Well I can not make it make sense in my mind, or in words on this website. All I know is all I long for now is to serve him. My flesh is his, he owns me. And how do I feel after giving up all control, from my diet, to my spending on my credit cards, to daily chores, and so much more? I feel freer than I ever have in my life. I have not been this happy in over 20 years.I am more alive. I may not be able to explain why, but i can say how it makes me feel. This is my life.
24/7 submission. He is the love of my life. I will never look back. This is the life for me. I will obey his every word. If I don’t he will punish me. And I will accept and try to learn from my mistake. He is my dom, my master, and my owner.