I am the sock nazi

I can not stand socks that have holes in them.  I can not stand them when they do not match or if they are stained either, but we can save that for another day.  For now, we talk of holes.  I love my socks, I like to get cute ones.  But if I get a hole, they are gone.  This is all fine til I become not-so-single as I am now.  I am a force to be reckoned with.  I will not be with someone with holes in their socks.  I throw every sock with a hole in them in the trash.   I see these holes with the eyes of a cat on the prowl.  I have radar for them.  My boyfriend will lay in bed, kick off his shoes and without even trying, I know.  I see it.  “What’s that on your sock”

“Nothing”

“Now that’s a lie, Jason.  You are lying to me Jason”

“No I’m not”

“Take that sock off now”

“No, it is fine, see, no hole”

“Not that sock, the other one”

And that is about the time I pounce on him and tickle him til he gives in to my sock thievery and snatch it off so quick his toes are instantly cold.  Now before you go thinking I am evil or mean or something, please note, I buy socks to replace every pair I throw away.  Sometimes just because.  Cause I loves him.

This is the face of feet that do not know the love of socks without holes